watchesthewatchers | coming in from the cold

"We tried. We really did, we were supposed to. Both of them were being moved at night; she tripped, she screamed, she was shot. He stopped to go back for the body."

He admits, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"George watched it happen. He said he thought Leamas had known. That he'd turned back not for the corpse, but to face the guns rather than come home to us."

"Love does that to people. Some people."

He strokes Peter's hair. All of this is really starting to sink in, and he doesn't know how to process it yet. He remembers the things Ricki had once said, that Tony not trusting Peter would destroy them eventually. But looking at him now, at the doubts he has, Tony only knows he wants to keep him close.

"I'm so...so sorry."

"The worst part is that Mundt is awful."

Tears are welling up.

"This neo-Nazi relic. He looked at me after it was over and said 'well, only a Jew,' and smiled, and I just."

He has never seen Peter cry. Tony pulls him down (Peter is taller by rather a lot) and holds his head against Tony's shoulder.

"Is he giving you guys what you need?"

"More than."

He admits, just wrecked.

"We have saved so many lives with him. I know the every face and name of their service."

"The day he stops being useful...I will drop him from the stratosphere for you."

He kisses Peter's temple.

"You're saving lives, Peter."

He scrubs his hand over his eyes, and takes a steadying breath.

"Leamas was a damn good spy."

"You couldn't have known the girl would scream."

But he takes Peter to the sofa and lays them down with Peter's back against his chest.

"An abducted civilian walking at night through enemy territory, discovering her lover was a double agent, after a soft interrogation? I'm just shocked he didn't think to sedate her."

Head resting on Tony's shoulder.

"Did you have any work to do today? If you do, it's canceled now."

Tony is claiming him for the night.

"Two weeks mandatory leave. George knows me too well."

Eyes closing.

"God, Tony."

"Does George know about us? Can I ever meet him? I'm not usually a fan of headmaster spies, but he sounds like a nicer version of Fury..."

He tries to rein in his usual ramblings.

"What can I do? Or maybe I should ask, what shouldn't I do?"

"I used to think he never could, but-"

Biting the inside of his cheek.

"But?"

He rests his chin on his shoulder.

"He mentioned a nephew. In that solicitous, condescending way men do."

Admitting, stretching.

"...You're speaking British again. Is he trying to hook you up?"

He grins, knowing full well but enjoying the chance to tease him.

"Is that a boat on your tiepin? My nephew likes boats, Peter, what a funny coincidence, he and his partner are going yachting."

Illustrating with a smile.

"What do you wanna bet he already knows what you're really doing here?"

Tony wonders sometimes if he is still being groomed as an informant. But because, as he's said, his only loyalty is to himself it doesn't matter much to him.

"I know. I just wonder what that will one day mean for you. Leamas was better friends with George than I."

Eyes closing.

"What do you mean?"

He has the lights dimmed.

"I'm not just some civilian."

"Yes, love, you are."

He insists, quietly.

"In my world, you are."

"So what do you think it could mean for me someday?"

It's important to hear this; Peter rarely talks about his fears.

"One day someone will smile, come up to you, and with a hand on your arm ask where you were last weekend, and then you'll never hear from me again."

There's a taste like nickel on his tongue.

"Don't say that."

"It's a reality."

He admits, tight and nervous.

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